yay pink!

i’m up to                                                                    sixteen
cigarettes and i                                                        still don’t know
if lipstick parties are actually                                        a thing. lipstick stains are
proof that things went well. Please                             tell me things went well. i know,
i look nothing  like  Amanda Norgaard              and i have no fucking clue why the floor
is  so dirty; it hasn’t even rained today. i promise this is not just a nice thing to say; this is,
in  fact, the hardest thing i have ever done. yes, this would have been easier on paper. yes,
i can make bread out of anything, out of lucky strikes and lizard tails, hydrangeas and
candle wax. yes, i’ll make your birthday cake: angel food cake cheesecake chocolate
pound  cake (my favorite) apfelkuchen prinsesstårta donauwelle bienenstich yellow
cake with chocolate buttercream (and sprinkles, of course, it’s required) you are
sublime (this is the first time i’ve used that word) yes, i will make you
wings of stars and precious metal you are so precious my love my life
my dear my darling yes, i want you to stay for a while. my love
is pulled from the bottom of a freezing blue lake it is still
warm you are still warm you are always warm and for
five minutes my hands aren’t freezing
so can I tell you a secret?
i never really hated,
everyone,
you least
of
all.